Turning Away
by Sadistic-Gohan
Summary: Chihiro's changed, and not to what one would expect. Angst filled and there may be some very detailed scenes of abuse later on.


Disclaimer: I do not own the script for Sen to Chihiro no Kamikushi (Spirited Away). It belongs to the creator of Princess Mononoke, Miyazaki!  
  
AN:/ I'm back! Wow I haven't written anything this long since I was in the Harry Potter section. This is filled with angst, right now it'll be at PG- 13 and I'll probably up it to R later on. I'll accept constructive criticism, no hate flames! Anyway enjoy!  
  
Yami no Chihiro  
  
Plopped on the grass with my legs and arms spread out. My black sweat pants were accumulating dirt and whatnot, my white shirt was greenish brown with grass stains and my hair was spread out around me like a halo but with specks of dirt in it. Aaaaah, the results of constantly rolling down hills in the name of amnesia. Remembering certain events of one's life are hard for some people but for me, I remember everything in photographic detail, down to every single word uttered. I get up brushing away the clumps of dirt and grass. I run home, taking the shortcut through the forest that I spent so much time exploring, to reach home and take a shower before my parents find me like this. Last time I went home like this, my parents freaked and nearly grounded me. Supposedly, I was to set a good example for the neighbors' children but I was never a good example for anyone.  
  
As soon as I arrive I remove my dirty clothes and drop them into the hamper. I quickly turn the silver knobs and hot water and cold water, alternatively(hot then cold), rush out. After a few minutes the water flows out at the same temperature, more hot than cold. The steam rises and clouds the mirrors, windows, anything with a glass surface. I step into the shower and let the water pound down my back. I quickly was my hair and scrub my body. I no longer have the body of a ten-year old, more like the body of an eighteen year old. But I'm not ten, or eighteen. I'm sixteen, five foot six and a half, and my once chestnut colored hair is a black with thin white streaks. My face has matured and wear plenty of black, purple, and blue makeup. I go to Seijou Highschool and am currently am a senior at the school. I plan to go to Todai, just to get away from this hellhole. Too many memories, too many of them are horrible ones that I want to forget but can't. I dry myself and pick out my outfit which consists of a black leather halter top with long thin buckles adorning it, skin tight leatherish pants that allow a variety of movement despite the skin tight look, and my arms carry gold, and silver arabic-style jewelry. I brush my hair and blow dry it straight. The ponytail I had was gone the moment I left the Spirit world. The shiny purple headband that Granny and the rest of my friends made I placed in a box after the first year, I couldn't depart withe the only thing I had as a reminder of the Spirit world. Sometimes I often wondered if the Spirit worlds was even real, if Kohaku, the bathouse and Yu-baba were figments of my imagination. The only thing that assured that it wasn't a dream was the purple headband. Nothing else. Everything else were lies, and more lies. I haven't seen or heard anything about the Spirit world for six long years.  
  
The first two years after I came back were very harsh years to me. They were cruel and uncompassionate. The first year was the worst year of my entire life. I waited for months for anyone, and I mean anyone, from the Spirit world. Nothing, except other roaming spirits but no one from the bath house. It was frustrating to see Spirits roaming looking for the bathhouse, often I tried to go with them but soon I was lost in the wild entrails of the forest. After getting lost twice, I resolved to figure out layout the forest and to find the shrine to go to the bathhouse once more. It wasn't easy but it took about half of that first year to know the layout of the entire forest. I didn't have any luck in finding the bathhouse. Because of it, I knew an infinite amounts of ways to get somewhere faster, I had a place all to my own where no one would pick the lock open and reprimand me. I had deteriorated after that first year. My grades hadn't suffered because it was the only thing that held my parents at bay and became a distraction for the search to the entrance to the Spirit world. I quickly avoided being friends and soon became the little town's first goth. I was famous for my wild and outrageous clothing. The day I died my hair, I lost my identity. No longer was I the naive little ten-year old who had saved the Spirit world. I became the studious goth who didn't care about anything but her grades. I was completely alone that year. No one cared for me. My parents were not living with me because they were constantly on business trips. I got to see them at the most of once a month. After awhile I saw them once every two months.  
  
I still wear the headband, in hopes that someone would come and recognize me for who I was once was. But there was no such luck. The second year after I returned turned for the worst. I became the public scratching post for the town. I was scorned and my fellow students blamed me for their low scores or their necessity for cram school. The only people who didn't do anything against me were my teachers. They were extremely proud of their "prize" student. My parents were outraged with my change and were only allowing me to be a goth because I had the best grades in the area. People joined against me and bullies fought me. I came home every night with wounds and bruises. My parents were mad, but not at the townsfolk but at me for not defending my self. During the summer they sent me to all different kinds of dojos to learn how to fight and defend myself, they even sent me to learn different kinds of foreign martial arts. In the short time of two and a half months I had mastered most of the basic techniques because self-defense was something I had brung with me. I learned karate, tae kwon do, kung fu, judo, kick boxing and jujitsu. The townsfolk soon came to fear me when I fought back, and they feared me even more when I was allowed to skip my first year of middle school and was presented with an award of having the best grades in the record book of the town. Everyone was surprised and in awe, however it didn't last long. They came against me harder than ever, and I was slowly broken. I barely had any motivation but to get the sufficient grades to get into Todai. To get away from this hellhole to escape what I had thought I understood. I wanted to leave to forget because everything around this place reminded me about that place, and him. Kohaku, I wished to see him and I, like a fool, thought he was going to keep his promise. I should've known that promises were comfort lies. My parents' promises were also lies. My teachers' promises on stopping the bullying, my friends from my past "promises" of coming to visit me, and to top it all, people who wanted to be friends for other interests. Some of them wanted to get good with my parents, others just wanted me to do their homework. It was a frustrating time that was valuable to my adulthood. The sooner I learned it, the less mistakes could be made.  
  
I made my way to my room to finish a report my Global Studies teacher assigned us last week. It was supposed to be due in a month but I was more than half-way done. I started reorganizing my notecards when my parents arrived from a "business trip" from Angers, France. I was grateful my parents were often away, I wasn't pestered and could be on my own. I knew how to take care of myself and the house after living at the bathhouse. I stood up and went to greet my parents and pretend that I was grateful for them being home. It was a sickening job but I to do it or risk being stuck with one of them for two months. As I climbing down the stairs I noticed my mother was looking through the mail. She looked carefully at a particularly thick packet. Suddenly she squealed in delight like a little girl, She turned toward me and hugged me. I wish she could have seen my face because I was shocked beyond belief.  
  
"Chihiro, you did it! You got into Todai!" she yelled in my ear. I took a step back. "What?! I did?" Hurriedly I took the packet from her hands and quickly read through them. It was my acceptance letter from Todai! I happily danced around the living room. 'Finally, I'm leaving this horrible place. Mom's probably happy because she and dad won't need to come back here and could travel anywhere they wanted to.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'She's done it. She has found an excuse to leave me here. She's my only connection to my past, to this world. And she's leaving.' The lonely thought passed through this person's mind. It caused waves of anguish and grief to fall upon him.  
  
AN:/ So, should I continue or not? If I do, I'll put it under my other penname. 


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